Body Image and my Wedding in a Month

Happy Weekend!

I have a nasty cold today so I am just going to stay home and try and finish some wedding projects.  This entails a lot of cutting, gluing, ink, and paper.  Every art majors dream weekend!

I will have some new projects to show you next week so keep a look out for it!

Also, I will be doing artist showcase tomorrow.  I haven't forgotten but I have this other topic rolling around in head and if I don't get it out I might just scream!

I wanted to talk about body image and weight today and how it applies to weddings and particularly my own.

In high school I had an eating disorder.  I didn't get my period, exercised three hours a day, was very, very thin, and very, very unhappy.

I gradually grew out of that mind set when I started college.  I still worked out everyday, but was eating and healthy and happier.

Going into my late twenties I began to struggle with my weight and I have fluctuated between being heavier and slightly thinner in the last few years.

I trained for a triathlon two years ago and was probably at my healthiest.  In November of 2011 I was running three miles everyday and feeling great, looking forward to being super healthy on my wedding day.

Then my disc in my neck blew and a range of allergic reactions to multiple medications have made steroids my friend. 

I had to stop exercising, and as all of you know I have been fighting with pain for the last six months or so.

What this comes down too is that I am probably at my heaviest that I have been in awhile....oh, and I am getting married in a month!

I my head I always thought I would be a thin bride.  That I would waltz down the isle in a size eight body.

I am not a size eight or a size ten for that matter and this past week I have been worrying about how I am going to look in our wedding photographs.  Am I going to look ugly?  Am I going to look fat?!  Is that what everyone is going to talk about on May 5, 2012?

As I was worrying about this last night I came across a great post on the blog Gala Darling.

Here is the line from the post that stuck out to me:

"YOU ARE WHO YOU ARE. Never be ashamed of that. Own it! Love it! You only have one life."

Then I realized I don't want to worry about this!  I'm not thin right now but that doesn't mean that I'm not going to own/rock my wedding day!  I am marrying a woman who not only loves me but also tells me I am gorgeous Every Single Day.

This is who I am right now...today.  This is what I look like, what my body is.  Do I want to be healthier?  Absolutely!  Do I NOT want to worry about it on my wedding day?  Damn Straight!

Lots of Love,

Jess

 

Oh what a day...and a new photographer to drool over

Hello, hello....

Oh What A Day....

I'm not even sure where to start.  You know when you feel like things just might be coming together?  Like the pieces are starting to fit into place and you can see a light at the end of the tunnel?

Then...maybe there's an earth quake and the tunnel collapses, or the light suddenly goes out, or you are missing that one piece that will complete the puzzle and your cat ate it.

That's how I feel today.  Like I just can't win.  Like there is a missing piece.  Like I am climbing an uphill battle but the hill is never ending.

I am trying not to slide back down...everyone has an opinion...my mother, my mother-in-law, my co-workers...I am trying the best I can...that's what I just said to my mother as I hung up the phone before I started to write this post in a haze of tiredness and teary eyes.

I am tired people, and just trying to hang onto whatever I can.  My top priorities are:
1.  Go to work for full day
2.  Help Meridyth find a job and be a supportive partner (biggest stress right now)
3.  Plan for wedding which is in one month!
4.  Figure out what I'm thinking in the midst of everyone else's opinions

I have so much more to say but I need to sort out my thoughts tonight and collapse on my pillows.

I do want to share an amazing new photographer that I am drooling over.

Her name is Elise Gow and man oh man is she AMAZING!

She is a photographer based out of Australia near Melbourne and her composition, lighting, and emotions captured are envy worthy.

Here are some of her images that I love:

Beautiful, right?  Check out more of Elise Gow's work here. 

Makes me wish I lived in Australia!

Love,

Jess

Sporadic Posts, Wedding Stuff, and Life...

Hello, Hello Lovelies!

How is everyone's week going?

So sorry that the posting has be sporadic if you have been checking.

Things have been very busy with lots of wedding decisions.  I went for a tasting with my parents at Guapos which is a family owned Mexican restaurant in the D.C. area.

We have been hammering down drink details, I have been writing the ceremony, talking to friends that are flying in, and being all around wedding obsessed!

I figure it is not that bad since we are only about a month away from the big day!

However, though the wedding is a BIG DEAL, to me and Meridyth at least, other life things still happen.  How dare they, right?!

Meridyth's car broke down today for the third time in the last six months and she had a appointment to go to so I had to rush home, I did a nice U-turn (don't tell!) and she had to drive me to work and take my car.

I am still taking massive amounts of steroids and am finally not waking up with raised red rashes everywhere...benadryl is still being taken!

I hope to start blogging regularly again after the wedding!  I have come to enjoy sharing my adventures, crafts, internet finds, and life on these pages.

Until then I will be posting as much as I can!

Lots of Love,

Jess

Wedding updates and a picture of Buddy

Happy Rainy Saturday!

I feel like I have already had a whole day done and it's only 12:37 in the afternoon!

I finally finished addressing all of the envelopes for the wedding invitations.  I have to say that this has been the most stressful part of wedding planning so far because there is so much etiquette involved.  More than I realized!

I am NOT good at etiquette.  This realization came to me as I started to address the Save the Dates.  Do you put Mrs. or Ms., how do you address invites for a gay couple, what if the person is widowed; do you still put Mrs.?! How do you address for a doctor or someone in the military...Uhhhgggg.....

The problem with me and etiquette is that I don't want to offend anyone but I also don't particularly care about doing things "right".  Once a free spirit, always a free spirit.  The problem is when everyone else needs you do to things "right"!

Regardless, they are done!  Photographer is booked!  Tasting for catering is tomorrow, and D.J./Music is in the works.

For the next month I will be wedding obsessed but I can't wait for May 5th!

I also wanted to share a picture of Buddy/best friend/kitty cat.  Meridyth took it last night.

Isn't he adorable?!  He's giving his, "Mom put me down" grumpy face.

He is my little man and snuggles with me every night.

Lots of love,

Jess

Wedding Dreams in Photographs

Hi dear ones!

I hope everyone made it through Wednesday today.

I honestly had a rough day.  I know everyone has them so I thought I would share some wedding images that make me happy.  I hope they make you happy too!

A few wonderful things have happened over the last few weeks that I wanted to share. 
Some very dear friends that don't live in Maryland have said that they are planning on coming to our wedding!  It means so much and I can't wait to see them!

Since I have wedding on the brain I wanted to show some recent wedding images I am LOVING!  Make sure to click on the links too.  As always the photography is stunning.

Image by Clark + Walker Studio.  Full wedding found on Style Me Pretty

Gorgeous flower bouquet from Callas Flowers

Tea Sunburst found in Rolling Greens.  Originally featured on Los Angeles, I'm Yours Blog

 

Wouldn't this be amazing to get married in front of?  This is 3,000 teabags dipped in paint in varying shades and hung together.  Awesome.

Image found on Jessi Haack Design

Image found on Jessi Haack Design

Aren't the two images above amazing?!  I came across Jessi Haack who owns a company that works weddings, events, etc...She is lives and works out of California.  Seeing her work I wish that is where we were located!

Aphrodite Garter found on website Liberty in Love

I haven't decided on a garter yet.  This one is 50 Euros.  Isn't it delicate and whimsical?

Detail image from Kelly Prizel Photography

I love these pinwheels!

image found on Green Wedding Shoes

Hope you found some dreams in these images.

Until tomorrow,

Love,

Jess

Chalkboard Glasses Tutorial Two, Paper Flowers, and a Lovely Sunday Photo

Hello beautiful people!

I have taken time off the last two days from blogging for some much needed R&R.

However, I did finish the chalkboard glasses and I have some photos and suggestions for you!

After I painted the homemade concoction for chalkboard paint (found here) I then let that dry.

I painted it thick remember!

After it dried I peeled off the tape.

Now the trick in making your own chalkboard paint is to then take a piece of sandpaper.  I used fine grain because I didn't want to scratch the glasses, but on a larger surface a stronger grain would probably be better.

I then carefully sanded it until the paint was smooth.

Then I used a piece of white chalk and there you have it!

Pretty cool!? 

Here are some suggestions that I have if you are going to try this at home!

First:
I definitely put in too much grout to paint.  I never measure things, but in hindsight I would have added a little bit more paint to the mixture.


Second:
I didn't make sure my tape pieces were completely straight.  Do this!  I am a bit OCD and the ragged edges from the tape drove me nuts!

The project itself only took in total about a half hour (drying time not included) and I think they came out great!


For the second part of this post, I wanted to share how I have become paper flower making obsessed!  I wanted to share with you some fun flowers I have been making.

I have been experimenting with colors and shapes and I am starting to get a feel for it.

Would you guys like a tutorial for paper flowers?  Let me know!

As for the lovely Sunday Photograph here it is my friends!

Check out this super Geeky temperature changing smiling mug!  If that's not lovely I don't know what is!

Found on Geek Living Daily Blog

Until tomorrow,

Love,

Jess

Inexpensive Dresses that you could get married in

Hello Everyone!

I hope today was a good Thursday!  I worked a full eight hour day today for the first time and I am actually not hurting as bad as I thought I would!  I hope that I have finally turned a corner in terms of my neck and the chronic pain.

So, on a very happy note, Mer and I are getting married May 5th!  We are a little late on the planning because of everything that has been going on. 

One thing I do not have yet is a dress!  We don't have a lot of money to spend but I want to feel beautiful on our wedding day.

I have been going back and forth over dresses.  Should I wear a color or wear white?  Do I want dreamy or sophisticated?  I feel like when I put it on I will know, but in the meantime I love perusing the internet and dreaming of wearing beautiful yet affordable dresses on my wedding day.

Here are some I have found that I can picture wearing.  What do you guys think?  Do you like any?  Have any other suggestions?

This is a non-traditional fun dress from Vintage Dress Outlet for $43.95  Fun, no?

I found this pretty dress on the Wtoo site which is partnered with the brand Watters but is the cheaper of the lines.  I love this dress, it is described as a mini tafetta ballgown.  I would definitely go for the deep red color on the second dress.  You can find this dress on all different sites ranging in prices from $79-$200.

This white dress is only $199.  Not a traditional wedding dress but wouldn't it be perfect?

I found this stunner on UDreamyBridal.  This dress is selling for $98.23. Very Audrey Hepburn at a reduced price, don't you think?

There are so many places to look for inexpensive dresses.  I go on ModCloth A LOT!  However, make sure to read the reviews because they are really helpful!  Here are a few delicious examples.

I know the wedding dress is important and I want to feel fabulous, but I am hoping to buy something that won't cost an arm and a leg. 

I will let you know when I find it!  Look for another post with more traditional inexpensive wedding dresses!

Love,

Jess